Yup, I said it... it was Me.

Somewhere along the way "Damn it" has become my new favorite word. When you are at that point, when you think you might break, when frustration is at the peak just before losing it, there's nothing that a good loud "Damn it" won't heal. You say it, and it all loosens up and dissipates... like "Damn it"... (POOF... it's gone... did you hear it, did you hear it?) Well, okay, maybe it's not quite that healing but man, it does tend to feel good.

So maybe, perhaps, it was me, in a few of those 'I'm either going to lose it or curse' moments, that I take the high road and curse. Not directly at anyone, just to lay it out there. So it was me that said it... it was me. Damn it. In the words of my bosses' granddaughter "Damn its the magic word" and I so believe that cute little 3 year old.

So here we go...

Rewind to March 15 (I think). We had gone to Virginia for Joey's nieces' birthday party. She turned 6. We were going to stay at his brother's house in VA Beach and had left the party and followed him to a gas station. Joey got out and topped off our tank because, why not, gas is about 30 cents a gallon cheaper in VA than NC. While waiting in the car I looked over at his brother's big red truck and saw the biggest dent/scratch running down the passenger door. When hubby got back in the car I asked him what happened to Jimmy's truck. He said "damn. I don't know". And there we have it spewing from the back seat "damn, damn damn".

Now, fast forward to about a week or so. Nice, beautiful day here in Eastern NC. Came home from work and Ashley and I went out front to blow bubbles and wait for Daddy to come home. When Daddy arrived home it was time to go inside and get dinner together but Ashley just wasn't ready yet. A 2 year old is never ready to do something just because Mommy said so.

So, in an effort to appease, as I do so often, I decided it would be okay to sweep off the back porch really quickly cause the pollen was BEYOND thick and leave the sliding glass door open and let Ashley blow more bubbles on the screened-in porch while I got dinner together. Okay, done. I even moved her little Dora table and chairs from the corner to the middle of the porch and set up the matching umbrella that had been hiding in the garage for her. I was finishing up the last little bit of sweeping as I see her, walking around the edge of the umbrella touching each little plastic piece at the end of each spoke along the way putting the magic word in full effect. "Damn it, damn it, damn it". Calm and collected.

Fast forward... Daddy was at work last night, Ashley and I were fixing baked potatoes for dinner. I had cooked them in the microwave, cut hers in 1/2 and turned in upside down on the plate to smash the insides off the skin so we could put butter and cheese on it. She was standing next to me, on the stool so that she could help. I ended up somehow touching a piece after I had repeated to her over and over not to touch it, cause it was hot. I said, "ouch, it's hot" she adds "damn it".

Having already known that this was a fun new word for her I had asked her teacher if she had ever shared it at school. She's young and laid back and she and I are on friendly terms. She laughed and said no, but she would tell me if she did. Today was the day.

I went in to pick Ashley up at regular time. Her teacher told me she had said "something" today but she wasn't sure if it was the same word. I mouthed it to her and she chuckled and said "yup". Apparently Ashley, in great angst was trying to tell one of her friends during snack or lunch or something. One of her friends moved her cup:

Ashley looked at her and said "no, it goes right der, damn it".

Friend said "yeah, damn it".

Oh lawd... I've done it now!

So apparently I'm not the only one that feels that there is a magic word out there and it just ain't please or thank you. What am I to do now... can't really take it back, now can I? All I can do now is either learned to spell it real fast, which will only be a temporary fix until such time she learns to spell or just cut it out all together... I think I'm make a conscience effort for the second idea.

*Disclaimer* Please be advised that each and every time the dear children using said word or adult phrase were corrected and told, without too much drama, cause that would just make it even more fun, that we should not say that, that it was a bad word and that sometimes big people say things that they should not and that little people really shouldn't. Ahhh... so funny, like when your teacher made you say "Penis penis penis, vagina vagina, vagina" in sex ed, kind of way. Do not punish, do not chastise, I know, dears, I know, "I bad, damn it".