I'm simple

inspired by Augs, wordless style:

All you ebayers out there...

I'm thinking of selling some things on ebay. I've had a little bit of luck in the past but I'm looking for tips that anyone has to share that they feel contributed to their success!

Reduced to Nothing...

that's how I feel, that's who I am right now. I guess the patience I was praying for last night did not or could not have gotten here fast enough. After our spell last night I thought that maybe after some rest (not much more on my part) that today would be a brand new day. How wrong was I?

This morning, I was running a little bit behind (as usual) but decided that I would get Ashley up before I was ready so that she could lay in her daddy and I's bed and watch Blue's Clues (or Cue Cue's as she calls it)... I figured this would give her some extra time to wake up before I needed her to function and cooperate. This is not an out of the ordinary move for me, as we have done this countless times.

So, I woke her up, gathered up her, her tassy and her beloved teddy bear and laid her in our bed, that wasn't quite right though, cause she wanted to lay on her Daddy's pillow instead of mine, as she usually does. That was fine, didn't have a problem with that so she laid on her Daddy's pillow and pulled the sheet up for her.

After I finished getting ready I grabbed a pair of pants and two shirts (so that she could have a choice - she always behaves better when she has a choice and what's the big deal anyways?) She does have a little mind of her own and so long as I pick both choices it's no skin off my back. Grabbed a new pull up, her no more tangles and some "tail" holders and went back to our bedroom.

The next 20 minutes were spent screaming, thrashing, yelling and crying. Where has my child gone? I had to "man handle" her to get her pull up off and her shirt on. I wasn't strong enough nor quick enough to get the pants done. Finally, I had to get up and leave. She cried and screamed for me but I had other stuff to get ready. I got the rest of the stuff ready and she came out of the bedroom with her other shirt. I went and got the pants and attempted yet again to put them on her. We wrestled, she fought, I fought, she screamed, I screamed. Still, no pants. So... I pulled the age old "do I need to call your Daddy", her response "yes". I called him and told him of my situation, the situation in which I was about to go friggin' nuts because she is B.A.D. bad and I can't take it. The one in which I have been trying to put pants on her for 30 minutes, the one in which I know I am going to be LATE for work, yet again and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. She wouldn't talk to him and eventually threw the phone down.

A few minutes later, still screaming and crying and now I've joined in on the crying because I'm at the end and I don't know what else to do. I can't make this little human want to cooperate. I can't talk her into cooperating, I'm helpless... all at the hands of a 2 year old. She walk up to me, from just a few feet away, and began to brush the hair from in front of my eye as I hung my head down and she handed me the tissue I had used to wipe her nose. Do you think she was ready to cooperate after showing she cared that Mommy, for some unknown reason was crying? No. She was ready to scream and yell and throw herself on the floor. She said she wanted to call Daddy, so I did. He told her again to get her pants on and simple as that. Like "oh, you want me to put my pants on, why didn't you say so" she bent down and picked her pants up and started to put them on. Are you kidding me? This point, I'm still crying and I've shrunk about 5 feet all the way down to an inch. That's when hubby tells me I need to do this and I need to do that to get her to listen to me and why are you so upset? Some of which I know, some of which I feel I already do. But at any rate I don't suppose it matters cause obviously none of it is effective.

So... finally I get her out of the house and into the car. Crying for her tassy (which is not permitted other than at bedtime) and yelling about how she wants to give Kyle a kiss (that's the dog). Ah, she's strapped in and now she is yelling for cheese. She loves nothing more than string cheese. Guess what. We're out, I don't have string cheese, I only have cheerios and juice. Do I need to even ask you if you think that will do?

Over the next 30 minute ride to work she cried and she screamed and she yelled between wanting cheerios and not wanting cheerios (thankfully she got over the cheese pretty fast), wanting her Daddy and wanting her tassy. Now that's a long ride.

I explained to her, not long after our 30 minute drive began, in my very loving voice (I'm serious here) that Mommy and Daddy need for Daddy to work 2 jobs so that we can take care of her and buy her the things she needs, yada yada yada. I know, sounds silly, that didn't work either.

20 minutes into same I look back in my handy dandy baby viewer mirror and see that she is now, one arm out of the car seat as I drive down a dangerous 2 lane (1 each way) highway in the rain. I had to pull over in some church parking lot to get the rouge arm back into the strap as just asking, telling or screaming at her to do it wasn't effective (which allowed the big miller beer truck that I had already passed to pass me. Perhaps I should have waved him down and asked him for a cold one). The rest of the ride scream, cry, yell was all about cheerios, Daddy, tassy and juice (the middle two items, unfortunately were not producible at that given time).

When we finally got to her school we went inside to the bathroom (they request that you wash your child's hands before entering the actual school hallway, which is inside the church). Then she wanted to go potty. Not a good thing at this particular moment. In order to go potty she must strip below the waist because one could not possible go to the bathroom with their pants just pulled down or their shoes on. But - she didn't want me in the stall with her. She wanted to shut it and tell me bye bye. P.S. Not gonna work, that toilet is as tall as her chest.

She wouldn't wash her hands so I did the best that I could and we left the bathroom. We saw one of the teachers in the hallway and instantaneously there she was, my girl was back.

We walked into her classroom she smiled, she gave me a kiss and immediately began playing with her teacher (who I did tell that she was B.A.D. this morning) and that was it. No crying, no kicking, no screaming, just one happy girl.

I'm kind of wondering if this all does not have something to do with Daddy being at work on some nights. When I pick her up from work we always have the discussion about whether or not Daddy will be home from work and I truly believe she understands. The concept Daddy or Mommy or Nana or Poppie is at work is not a new one but she seems to be worse off when Daddy worked the night before, thus meaning that she doesn't seem him the morning before, she didn't seem him that night and then he's gone again the following morning. I know she misses him, and I know he misses her but what is a Momma to do in the meantime, attempting to hold it together, while Daddy is out there busting his so we can pay our bills?

Comments please, just not ones that tell me I am a bad or incapable mother as I really just don't think I could take that right now...

More Patience Please!

It's 2:00 a.m. I'm awake now, although yawning because after a rough night with Ashley I fell asleep on the couch after putting her to bed. Hubby had to work tonight and due to my falling asleep early, I missed his arrival home from work only "waking" for a few seconds, if that, to smile at him. I'm thinking now, that I hope I remembered to tell him I love him, but I can't recall if I did. Hubby usually arrives home from work (his 2nd job, delivering pizzas) around 10:45 on the week nights when he works. Generally, I'm worn out from playing "single mom" for the night. Ashley listens to her Daddy much better than she listens to me, as I suppose I come off as a softy most of the time and when I do try to get tough, I suppose it comes across as being mostly a joke or that what I say, not necessarily is rule, but more of a suggestion for what I would like her to do (not at all the case). "Let's get your pull-up on", "no", kick kick scream scream, "I no like it". She's all 2, what can I say? I love her to pieces but there were clear moments of absolute aggravation tonight, however, I do think I was doomed from the get go with the impending arrival of AF. For some reason, will I ever learn, I also decided that I would treat her to a little sliver of chocolate pie (oh its the best), which I think contributed to the absolute meltdown that occurred as she told me she wanted to "watch Elmo Potty Time", after which time I turned it on she proceeded to run back and forth between me, the couch, the chaise lounge and bouts on the floor crying while turning it on and off, screaming "I no like it, I no like it" and "watch Elmo Potty Time". I'm not quite sure what the lapse in communication was but she was off the chain!

It's hot and steamy here in NC. It was only in the 80's today but it rained and the humidity is/was enough to melt a person. It's raining again now, something I don't think I'll complain over due to reading and hearing of the wildfires in California. Now that must be a time, an unimaginable time.

Last night we celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary with dinner from Chick-fil-a (I hadn't had it in forever cause the closest one isn't close and its sort-of a joke between Joey and I because we ended up going there on our "first date") and despite the steaming hot weather, hubby built a fire in the fireplace (doesn't it make sense to have your fireplace burning and the air conditioner on) so that I could do one of my favorite things and roast marshmallows over the fire. Don't I love him the best!

Hopefully tomorrow will be "a better day", not that this one has been truly bad, just that I'm praying to more patience. I foreseen now though that I am bound to be tired beyond belief as it seems that even if you get an early evening catnap on the couch it doesn't help to count towards the normal sleep one (well me anyways) needs at night. You think that you would get credit for your nap, but it just doesn't work out that way. I think at this point I am mostly awake and mourning over having stayed asleep after hubby came home from busting ass to make ends meet and that I failed to even have a good conversation with him all day long.

2:21 a.m. and my list of to-dos is not yet complete - I still have a lunch to make for Ashygirl for school tomorrow and I need to get my clothes together for Curves - 2 tasks that I imagine if I had to complete in the morning I'd be 2 hours late rather than my usual 15-20 minutes as getting out the door in the morning is no easy feat. Might as well understand that I'm one of those people they talk about that will be late to their own funeral. What can I say, I was doomed from birth, it's in my blood. Good night, good morning, good day to all!

Anyone seen this teddy bear?

I went to Wal-mart today to get an identical teddy bear to the one that Ashley has been dragging around day in and day out. The one that rarely gets washed and is beyond dirty. The one she takes to school and carries on the playground, the one she asks for as she climbs into bed every night. The one she woke up crying for the night I did decide to take it and "give teddy bear a bath". Do you think they had it? No. Do you think you can buy it on ebay, yes, for $37.99 (it is out of stock on Walmart.com but before it was I see it was reduced to $10.00 w/ 4 other items included). Next time you go to Wal-mart, do me a favor, take a peek in the infant/toddler section to see if this teddy bear is still in stock at your Wal-mart as my investigation has revealed it is discontinued. I will pay you, just not $37.99.

Pajamas

So I wrote a blog yesterday, but am afraid to post it cause it has some info regarding a publicizied trial that boss man is in right now so I'll have to wait on that one until the trial is over, probably end of the week or so.

Today is hubby and I's 3 year wedding anniversary. Has it really only been 3 years? Feels like more but not in a bad way, just in a sort of way kind of like 'what did I do before him or without him?'.

Hubby asked me what I wanted for dinner tonight and he would cook it for the occassion. I had not a clue but I was to get back to him before 12:00 to let him know. I called him at 12:05 and told him that I thought he should surprise me. He said he'd figured it would come down to that.

While I was on the phone with hubby I told him of the new and exciting plan that I have come up with. For Christmas I want for hubby, baby and I all to have matching pajamas. Doesn't that sound like the best idea ever? I told hubby regardless of whether he wanted to participate or not that Ashley and I would have matching pajamas. He said it would depend upon the attire that I picked out (I guess it can't be too loud or girly or blah blah) but that he was not completely opposed to being included in my venture however he did ask me where I came up with all the wonderful ideas that I have all the time, if there was a website I go to to search for random ideas to torture him with or something. Answer to that is: Of course not, it just comes natural to me - lol. So - I have spent some time this morning looking for matching pajamas. You would think that Old Navy or some place like that would have some of the same matching prints in womens, mens and children's but no. There are a few places online that sell matching pajamas for the whole family but I added some stuff to the cart to see how much it was going to cost me and I came to over $100.00. I guess the hole in Miss Salvation Army's wallet has tightened cause it's no longer a burning and that just sounds outrageous no matter how badly I think I want matching pj's for the fam.

On another note, my daughter is contining to crack me up these days. She turned two on October 11th and has quite the vocabulary. The other day she said "I have hiccups, Mommy" and she did, she had the hiccups. (I had no idea she even knew what the hiccups were and she rarely gets them at that). Here recently she is on a kick where if you ask her a question that she doesn't like or perhaps doesn't know the answer to that begins with "why" she answers the question with "cause". Now tell me - how is it that my darling, who is just barely two already has enough attitude to answer a question with the one word answer "cause"? I thought that was my job as her mommy to answer questions in such a fashion - seems to me the only thing missing off that answer is "...I said so".

My Birthday Princess

This past weekend we had Ashley's party for her 2nd birthday. Attendees were: my Mom & Dad, one of my sisters, her 2 children (ages 8 & 1 1/2), Joey's Mom & "friend", Joey's older brother and his girlfriend as well as one of my friends from work. We had a marvelous time... or at least I think we did. There were no games and chaos, just family fun and socialization. Ashley really enjoyed having the attention, her finger nails being painted, the money put in her pockets (literally), the gifts as she careful removed pieces of wrapping paper placing them directly in the trash bag provided and making sure that every scrap of paper was removing from the box before attempting to discover the gift she had been given, among other things. My house is empty (but tore up) now, as everyone had to go home yesterday (sadly enough as I don't think I nor Ashley can ever get enough of my parents, Nana & Poppie to Ashley).

One thing that surprised me was a gift that Ashley received, love and paid attention to. It was a gift from her Uncle Jimmy & Aunt Sharon (Joey's older brother & girlfriend). I had no idea that she would put this on and wear it. I wish I had a camera on hand to capture this little girl's face as I took her back to the bedroom to see herself in her crown and earrings once she had them on. However, although I do not have a picture of her expression it will be forever in my heart...

problem w/ slideshow

It appears to me that my slideshow below is not always loading correctly. However, if you click on the little "view show" button it will bring it up in a second window and you will then be able to view the pictures of my darling child in her purple dora sunglasses that she wears all day everyday :)

Mike's Farm

Friday Hubby and I joined Ashley on her first field trip. The field trip was to Mike's Farm. A neat little farm with fun things to do about 1 1/2 hours from home. I took so many pictures and tortured Ashygirl a great deal while doing so. I couldn't choose just one so I have created a slideshow for your viewing pleasure. Oh how I love this little girl...

10/11/2005

Today my darling baby is turning two. With all my heart I can not find where time has gone.

I knew I was pregnant, I swear it to you, from the day that I conceived. I took 2 pregnancy tests that were negative before I was actually far enough along to have a positive one - and even then - I had no clue of what was yet to come.

I got pregnant 3 months after hubby and I were married. It was not planned, it was not un-planned. For some strange, odd reason I did not think (probably the invincibility of a teenager that still hung on inside me at 23 that I could or would become pregnant. (*not talking about premarital sex - simply speaking of all the things teenagers think could never happen to them*) Now silly, silly me.

Over the next 9 months hubby and I fought and fought and fought - over anything and everything. I would say knock-down-drag-outs but there was no violence (other than one incident when hubby got so mad he ripped his shirt open, causing all the buttons to pop off - perhaps it was a superhero moment without the "hero")... Oh how I laugh now. I KNEW - I was convinced - that our marriage wouldn't last that much longer - that I could take my baby and move. Geez - the raging hormones (mine and his)! I hope he's laughing too - remembering all that we've been through as he reads this blog.

And then - a week late - I was induced on 10/11/05 @ 7:00 a.m. and was blessed and fortunate enough to deliver a 8 lb, 21", blue eyed, healthy baby girl @ 7:57 p.m. that same evening. Oh how I have loved her and loved her ever since.

That was in Virginia. Between then and now she has grown and grown and many things have changed:

1 house has been sold, 3 jobs have changed, 2 part-time jobs have been worked, 4 day cares, 1 house has been purchased, 1 truck has been sold, 1 ear surgery, many sickness, a gazillion diapers, 1 dog has seizures, many things have broken (cars, appliances as well as families), things have gone unpaid, we have done without, we have found a way, visits and travels have occurred, we have loved, we have laughed and most of all we have told ourselves not to ask if it can get worse because it will....

and so I suppose that is exactly where our time has gone... Here's to holding on to the next two years and continuing to realize just how precious and amazing life is.

Our Theme Song - for your listening enjoyment or un-enjoyment if it's not your style :)

Things go wrong and life goes on...

Yesterday, I called hubby on my way home from work, as I do most evenings. When I leave work I go the couple blocks to Ashley's preschool, pick her up and hit the road to get home. It's about a 30-40 minute drive. In my opinion, not too bad... I don't mind cause there really isn't any traffic involved other than the occasional slow driver going down the 2 lane "highway" (they call it a highway but it really doesn't look like one too me). Hubby was also on his way home, which was good news to me - knowing that he was gone all last week - I've been pretty worn out from my turn at being a "single" working mom. Getting Ashley ready in the morning as she chooses to look at me and tell me "I need time out Mommy". (She really is cracking me up these days - apparently she watches other children at school get put in time out and thinks its such a cool things, perhaps a privilege. I've confirmed with her teacher that she herself has not been put in time out as of yet) and then to get home and do it all over again plus getting the "chores" done was really taxing me.

So... there I was, excited that hubby was also on his way home from work and that he would be there to help me. We live about 15-20 minutes from his work, however, in the opposite direction. I let out my usual "yay" and told him we'd see him at home. Not even 5 minutes later hubby calls me and tells me "I'm kind of broken down". The nightmare of all nightmares seeing as we still do not have our "emergency funds" built up - to say the least - we can go ahead and say they really don't exist and won't until Christmas Bonus time (another huge yay). He explained to me that the car was still running but that the gear shifter was loose and was all but ineffective. He called his friend at work, who he thought might know something about the car. His friend came to get him and somewhere in that time he/they (I'm not sure which) managed to disassemble the console to figure out what was wrong. Apparently some rubber piece that holds the gear shifter to the transmission cable has broken. His friend took him back to work and his boss told him that he could use the company vehicle (don't get excited - its an old Explorer) so he/we wouldn't have to worry about how he was going to get to work (praise the Lord for that). Today hubby called the Saturn dealership to find out how much it would cost to fix. Apparently they choose not to fix the rubber piece that is broken, but instead, the whole damn contraption. Estimate for parts and labor: $500.00. Tonight hubby found the part on Ebay for $22.00 (including shipping). Please keep your fingers crossed for us that this works.

Second part of the story of things go wrong and life goes on picked up tonight. Around 10:00 p.m. I was walking into the bathroom and stepped on a wet patch on the carpet. I paused, looked down, nope, didn't look like muttly Kyle had pissed on the carpet so I thunk it to be even more odd and puzzling. See - thing is this... the bathroom door is right next to the closet that contains our heating/air conditioning unit. That's right - you guessed it folks. Air conditioner is freaking leaking and the carpet is WET. Hubby wasn't feeling like investigating so I got online and got the number for the home warranty company. Looks like we are going to get to add another item fixed/replaced (to be determined tomorrow) to our Wonders of the Home Warranty List. The lady on the phone told us - duh - that we needed to shut the air conditioner off cause that was the only way to make it stop leaking. Check that box - already done. So... we sit and wait w/ no air conditioning, at least it's not F-ing blazing hot this evening, we have ceiling fans and its only supposed to be around 81 tomorrow. I'll let you know the deal of $55.00 trade fee for the home warranty gets us tomorrow.

My boss told me today that he feels sorry for us for all the stuff that has happened to us - it's been bad here recently (however, I know it CAN and WILL probably get worse). Hopefully he will decide he feels sorry enough for me to give me a raise. What do you all think - ha ha - yeah, I'm laughing too. Until next time - here's to days when live goes on when things don't go wrong.