that's how I feel, that's who I am right now. I guess the patience I was praying for last night did not or could not have gotten here fast enough. After our spell last night I thought that maybe after some rest (not much more on my part) that today would be a brand new day. How wrong was I?
This morning, I was running a little bit behind (as usual) but decided that I would get Ashley up before I was ready so that she could lay in her daddy and I's bed and watch Blue's Clues (or Cue Cue's as she calls it)... I figured this would give her some extra time to wake up before I needed her to function and cooperate. This is not an out of the ordinary move for me, as we have done this countless times.
So, I woke her up, gathered up her, her tassy and her beloved teddy bear and laid her in our bed, that wasn't quite right though, cause she wanted to lay on her Daddy's pillow instead of mine, as she usually does. That was fine, didn't have a problem with that so she laid on her Daddy's pillow and pulled the sheet up for her.
After I finished getting ready I grabbed a pair of pants and two shirts (so that she could have a choice - she always behaves better when she has a choice and what's the big deal anyways?) She does have a little mind of her own and so long as I pick both choices it's no skin off my back. Grabbed a new pull up, her no more tangles and some "tail" holders and went back to our bedroom.
The next 20 minutes were spent screaming, thrashing, yelling and crying. Where has my child gone? I had to "man handle" her to get her pull up off and her shirt on. I wasn't strong enough nor quick enough to get the pants done. Finally, I had to get up and leave. She cried and screamed for me but I had other stuff to get ready. I got the rest of the stuff ready and she came out of the bedroom with her other shirt. I went and got the pants and attempted yet again to put them on her. We wrestled, she fought, I fought, she screamed, I screamed. Still, no pants. So... I pulled the age old "do I need to call your Daddy", her response "yes". I called him and told him of my situation, the situation in which I was about to go friggin' nuts because she is B.A.D. bad and I can't take it. The one in which I have been trying to put pants on her for 30 minutes, the one in which I know I am going to be LATE for work, yet again and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. She wouldn't talk to him and eventually threw the phone down.
A few minutes later, still screaming and crying and now I've joined in on the crying because I'm at the end and I don't know what else to do. I can't make this little human want to cooperate. I can't talk her into cooperating, I'm helpless... all at the hands of a 2 year old. She walk up to me, from just a few feet away, and began to brush the hair from in front of my eye as I hung my head down and she handed me the tissue I had used to wipe her nose. Do you think she was ready to cooperate after showing she cared that Mommy, for some unknown reason was crying? No. She was ready to scream and yell and throw herself on the floor. She said she wanted to call Daddy, so I did. He told her again to get her pants on and simple as that. Like "oh, you want me to put my pants on, why didn't you say so" she bent down and picked her pants up and started to put them on. Are you kidding me? This point, I'm still crying and I've shrunk about 5 feet all the way down to an inch. That's when hubby tells me I need to do this and I need to do that to get her to listen to me and why are you so upset? Some of which I know, some of which I feel I already do. But at any rate I don't suppose it matters cause obviously none of it is effective.
So... finally I get her out of the house and into the car. Crying for her tassy (which is not permitted other than at bedtime) and yelling about how she wants to give Kyle a kiss (that's the dog). Ah, she's strapped in and now she is yelling for cheese. She loves nothing more than string cheese. Guess what. We're out, I don't have string cheese, I only have cheerios and juice. Do I need to even ask you if you think that will do?
Over the next 30 minute ride to work she cried and she screamed and she yelled between wanting cheerios and not wanting cheerios (thankfully she got over the cheese pretty fast), wanting her Daddy and wanting her tassy. Now that's a long ride.
I explained to her, not long after our 30 minute drive began, in my very loving voice (I'm serious here) that Mommy and Daddy need for Daddy to work 2 jobs so that we can take care of her and buy her the things she needs, yada yada yada. I know, sounds silly, that didn't work either.
20 minutes into same I look back in my handy dandy baby viewer mirror and see that she is now, one arm out of the car seat as I drive down a dangerous 2 lane (1 each way) highway in the rain. I had to pull over in some church parking lot to get the rouge arm back into the strap as just asking, telling or screaming at her to do it wasn't effective (which allowed the big miller beer truck that I had already passed to pass me. Perhaps I should have waved him down and asked him for a cold one). The rest of the ride scream, cry, yell was all about cheerios, Daddy, tassy and juice (the middle two items, unfortunately were not producible at that given time).
When we finally got to her school we went inside to the bathroom (they request that you wash your child's hands before entering the actual school hallway, which is inside the church). Then she wanted to go potty. Not a good thing at this particular moment. In order to go potty she must strip below the waist because one could not possible go to the bathroom with their pants just pulled down or their shoes on. But - she didn't want me in the stall with her. She wanted to shut it and tell me bye bye. P.S. Not gonna work, that toilet is as tall as her chest.
She wouldn't wash her hands so I did the best that I could and we left the bathroom. We saw one of the teachers in the hallway and instantaneously there she was, my girl was back.
We walked into her classroom she smiled, she gave me a kiss and immediately began playing with her teacher (who I did tell that she was B.A.D. this morning) and that was it. No crying, no kicking, no screaming, just one happy girl.
I'm kind of wondering if this all does not have something to do with Daddy being at work on some nights. When I pick her up from work we always have the discussion about whether or not Daddy will be home from work and I truly believe she understands. The concept Daddy or Mommy or Nana or Poppie is at work is not a new one but she seems to be worse off when Daddy worked the night before, thus meaning that she doesn't seem him the morning before, she didn't seem him that night and then he's gone again the following morning. I know she misses him, and I know he misses her but what is a Momma to do in the meantime, attempting to hold it together, while Daddy is out there busting his so we can pay our bills?
Comments please, just not ones that tell me I am a bad or incapable mother as I really just don't think I could take that right now...
2 comments:
Oh, you are so not a bad mother! Travis had a temper (and still does) and threw his fair share of tantrums...moreso with me than with his daddy. He used to throw fits about his clothing...when it was cold he wanted to wear shorts and I had to put the sweat pants on him kicking and screaming. Then he would just pull up the legs of the pants to above his knees and go to preschool like that. He was 2 years old then. He would get so mad at me and I'd get so mad at him! Every day when I'd take him to school he'd cry and say he didn't want to go that he had a bad time, that everyone was mean to him (I knew this wasn't true). Lot of tears! I would take him to school and he'd scream cry for me and hold on to my clothes and I'd just have to walk away and feel like shit. But, as soon as I'd leave his sight he'd become the perfect child and have a great day at school. I witnessed this from afar several times. I talked to his teacher about it who had been teaching 2 year olds for quite a few years. She said something profound to me that made so much sense. She said "They save it all up for the ones they love the most." She said it's been her experience that children give the most grief to those that are their main caregivers. You are her main caregiver right now since Joey is working so much so she's just giving it all to you. Not fair, I know...I've been there! I wish I had some great magic advice, but I don't. I do know that trying to reason with them is pointless. Just try to be firm. I would always offer choices but they would have the same outcome. Like...here are your pants...you can put them or I can put them on for you...which would you prefer? Doesn't always work, but gives them a little more power. Hang in there...this, too shall pass! It won't last forever and before you know it you'll be on to the next phase. Sorry this was so long!!
Oh my....things brings back so many memories! Isaac is like that about his clothes, although better now ( at 6!) I think it's one of those things that we just have to grit our teeth through and one day, honestly, you'll suddenly remember that it stopped and you won't remember when!
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